Life Uploaded Read online

  When I did finally see Jack, it happened naturally. I didn’t walk past his class and I didn’t look around for him. In between Spanish and world history, I stopped at the vending machines to buy a pack of Chips Ahoy!. I bent down to grab them from the dispenser, and when I stood back up, there was Jack, looking pretty nervous and fairly uncomfortable.

  “Oh God, you scared me.” I gripped my snack, slightly crushing the cookies, but stayed cool.

  “Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “So, how’re you doing?”

  “Me? I’m great, why?”

  “Well, you look great. I like your, uh . . . everything, actually, the whole thing looks great.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I just wanted to make sure you’re all right and that you’re not, like, horribly mad at me or anything.”

  “Mad? No, I’m not mad. You were right, Jack, we’re not a good match, I just didn’t see it until you pointed it out. I’m glad we’re going to be just friends.”

  “Oh. Really? That’s awesome. I’m so relieved!”

  “Yay.” I gave him my sweetest smile, while keeping my tone dry and unenthusiastic.

  “So, wanna see a movie after school?”

  “I can’t today, sorry.”

  “What about tomorrow?”

  “Hmm, I’ll check my schedule. See ya around!” I kissed him casually on the cheek and headed to class, feeling like a million dollars. No, five million dollars. I was finally taking my life into my own hands.

  Now, let me make one thing clear for anybody reading this who might one day follow in my footsteps: the clothes and makeup themselves did not change how I felt about myself, they just helped me to unleash the power that had been inside me all along. Remember in The Wizard of Oz how the ruby slippers represented Dorothy’s inner ability to get herself home that she had all along but never knew? It’s like that.

  At lunch, the Jessicas’ mouths hung open.

  “Harper, you look . . .” Jessie started.

  “Let me guess?” I said. “Different.”

  “Exquisite!” Jessa jumped in.

  “Thank you, guys! I’m so happy you like.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what happened?” Jess asked.

  “Well, actually, I watched that video you posted on Facebook. The Cynthia Watson one.”

  “Isn’t she great?”

  “Yes! I learned so much! And there are so many other videos out there, I had no idea. It’s a gold mine!”

  “Oh, yeah, YouTube tutorials? It’s definitely becoming a thing,” said Jessa.

  “I don’t really get it, to be honest,” said Jessie. “Random girls make videos about how to do makeup for different occasions and I’m supposed to just trust them? Who are they to tell me what to put on my face?”

  “So cynical!” said Jess. “It’s not like that. These girls have something to share, so they’re sharing it. You don’t have to listen to them, but there are plenty of girls out there who want a solid teacher in that department. And Cynthia Watson delivers!”

  The gears in my head started to turn. I thought about how empowered I’d felt all day, how good it felt to take my look and my confidence into my own hands, and I wanted to share that with anyone who would listen. What if there was another girl like me out there whose heart got broken? What if she found a video I made and it changed how she felt about herself? What if, at only fourteen and a half years old, I could make a difference? I knew that the first lesson of beauty is that it’s only skin deep, but maybe I could use it as a way to help girls find confidence. The idea was exhilarating.

  That day when I got home I made my first YouTube video: “Three Outfits to Boost Your Mood.” And that, my friends, is the story of how I went from living life to living life, uploaded.

  Two Years Later

  * * *

  TUTORIAL #1

  New Year’s Eve Makeup, Outfit Ideas, and DIY Photo Booth!

  Hi everyone! Harper here! What is up?!

  Today’s video is all about New Year’s Eve! It’s right around the corner, and as you can tell, I am very excited about it! SUPER pumped.

  I thought it would be cool to show you guys some last-minute outfit ideas along with some makeup inspiration and also a do-­

  it-yourself photo booth kind of thing, ya know? No? You don’t know? Just keep an open mind, you’re gonna love this one, I swear.

  So leave your comments below telling me what your New Year’s resolutions are going to be! I think mine is to eat less dairy. If you know me at all, you know I love milk, like, so much. But recently I stayed up until three in the morning just watching scary videos about the dairy industry and now I’m kinda scarred, basically. So here’s to a year of no dairy! Or less dairy. Hopefully.

  First off, I’m going to show you what to do for your New Year’s Eve makeup. I thought of this really super easy look that I will probably be wearing myself.

  1. Start off with a layer of foundation. Then just use some concealer to smooth out any blemishes or uneven areas.

  2. Next, use a concealer to highlight your face—nose, forehead, under your eyes. This will make you look more awake, which is important because you gotta stay up late on New Year’s Eve! Then blend it all in—starting from the center of your face and working outward—with a beauty blender sponge. If you don’t know what that is, it’s one of those squishy foam wedges that you use to make sure all your makeup has been applied evenly. I honestly couldn’t live life without ’em.

  3. Next, dip a fluffy brush into your favorite loose powder and tap the handle of the brush against your wrist a few times to shake off any excess. Sweep the powder all around your eyes to make them shine!

  4. If you’d like, you can apply pressed powder all over your face to set and secure everything you’ve done so far.

  5. Time for eyebrows! I recommend an Anastasia brow pencil to fill in your brows and brush them out. This is one of my favorite things to do, and it literally takes me at least ten whole minutes. Seriously. If that’s wrong, then I don’t wanna be right. Before moving on, quickly smooth on some eyebrow gel to keep them in place throughout the night.

  6. As for your eye shadow, I recommend using the Tartelette Amazonian clay matte palette by Tarte. This one is a very neutral palette, nothing too crazy—it’s my freaking obsession. First, I apply free spirit—a light brown matte shade—as a base. Then I apply a shimmery light brown shade right on top of that (half baked by Urban Decay is amaze). Then blend multi-tasker or fashionista—aka the darkest matte brown shade in this palette—to create a shadow effect in the far corners. Add some highlighting cream to the very top of your lids where they meet your brow bones. And BAM, just like that, your eyes are contoured.

  7. Can’t go out to a New Year’s Eve party without some liquid eye­liner, now can you? I like to use liquid eyeliner by Kat Von D because IMHO (in my humble opinion) it’s the easiest to put on. Also, cat eyes, anyone?

  8. If you want your eyelash game to be super on point this New Year’s Eve, I recommend some extensions. Just glue ’em on and apply mascara to blend them with your real eyelashes. Works like a charm. If you choose to go this route, don’t forget to apply your liquid eyeliner after your lash extensions; that way, you can cover up any visible lash glue!

  9. Moving on to the lips! My favorite part. First, line your lips with pencil; I like to use one by MAC named Whirl. Then pick a lipstick color (I’m going with Sydney by Buxom) and fill in the lines. Oooh, pretty!

  10. Voilà, your makeup is complete!

  Now, before we move on to the outfit ideas, I’m gonna show you an awesome way to celebrate (and take amazing Instagram photos) before you even leave the house. It’s DIY photo booth time!

  Head to the store and grab a bunch of decorations. Shimmery streamers for the wall and big gold balloons that write out the year are a must; these are your background. Then just go wild with whatever props you want: glittery glasses
, party hats, boas, crowns—anything you can get your hands on, really. I know I will definitely be doing one of these this year. Then just strike a pose and go selfie-crazy!

  Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: OUTFITS!

  1. Outfit number one is a high-necked black crop top with silvery snowflakes on it, paired with a fringed black skirt from H&M. Finishing off the look are glittery tights and blue leather booties.

  2. This next one is really cute, if I do say so myself. It’s a rose-colored, sequined romper from Forever 21 paired with a furry black cardigan from Brandy Melville. I’d go ahead and pair it with some accessories like layered chokers, sheer black tights, and matching black booties.

  3. If you’re tryna wear something super chic, this outfit is for you. This gray faux fur coat is from Topshop, and so is the blue velvet romper to go with it! The romper has a really high collar that will actually wrap around your neck like a choker, but it also has a low V neck cut out for a little sexiness. If there’s ever a night to dress sexy, that night is New Year’s Eve.

  4. The last outfit is super easy. It’s just a jumpsuit, so literally one item of clothing, with black velvet and lace stripes that run vertically down the front. I’m pairing it with some leather heels from Steve Madden, which will give me a little extra height for a more elegant look.

  Well, my loves, that is all you need to know for this New Year’s Eve, I hope you have the time of your lives!

  You’re my everything goals,

  Lots of love, Harper

  * * *

  CHAPTER 1

  ••••••••••

  He’s Not a Ghost, He Just Plays One on TV

  Two years later and my life is nothing like it was. I’m a sophomore in high school, my braces are gone, and then there’s the little fact that I’ve developed a YouTube following of over one million gorgeous fans. My following started off small, just some local girls liking and sharing my videos. Then one day about nine months ago, Kate Hudson tweeted about my YouTube channel, and that’s when things took off. And I mean really took off. I’m not telling you this so that you think I’m cool (I’m not cool, I swear), just so that you understand why I am where I am when this story begins: a New Year’s Eve party hosted by Adam Levine at the Chateau Marmont. No big deal, as they say. This isn’t normal for me; I don’t hang out at celebrity parties on a day-to-day basis, but I’ve been invited to this particular event by Mia Vladianova, a high-end fashion designer from Russia who swears that the dishy Maroon 5 lead singer is her ultimate muse. Mia had recently found my channel and taken a liking to it, and much to my surprise, began throwing his swoonworthy clothes at me to wear in my videos.

  Hey, I can’t complain.

  Let me paint the scene:

  I’m in a blue velvet jumper with sparkly blue tights, feeling conspicuously younger than everyone else while A-list celebs confidently, casually hover by the bar, laughing and drinking, sometimes posing for a pic, all the while basking in the glow of their comfort zones. I see Kanye brush a crumb off Kim’s flawless shoulder, and I couldn’t possibly feel more anxious.

  “Hey, relax a little, will you?” Ellie says in her diluted Australian accent, grabbing my arm and practically shaking it loose from its socket. Thank God Mia said I could bring Ellie, otherwise there’s no way I would have felt brave enough to come to this thing. Ellie Montell is a friend and fellow YouTuber whom I absolutely adore. She’s mostly a DIY girl; her videos show step-by-step directions to making any number of things at home by yourself—birdhouse, bird feeder, birdbath, a printed bird tote . . . Yeah, to be honest I think most of her videos are about birds in one way or another. Ever since the day we met, we’ve had an incredible sisterly bond unlike anything else I’ve experienced. I still hang out with the Jessicas at school, but it’s really not the same. They don’t get me or my life the way Ellie gets me. She’s new to the world of YouTube, and I have taken her under my wing (pun intended). However, while I have a lot to teach her about building a YouTube following, she has a lot to teach me about socializing and being an overall non-nervous wreck. Ellie can happily strike up a conversation with anyone, and I admire her tremendously for it. You’d think I would be more comfortable with people by now, but if anything, becoming famous by being in front of a camera has made me more introverted and insecure.

  “I’m trying,” I say. “But a normal party is scary enough, let alone one where everyone is famous. Oh my god, is that Nicki Minaj?”

  “Where?” She turns to look as Nicki breezes by, platinum blond extensions swishing back and forth. “Oh, yeah, but who cares? They’re all just people. And you deserve to be here just as much as anyone else does, okay? Let’s get some bubbly. You gotta loosen up a bit, you’re starting to scare me.”

  I wrinkle my nose at her. “Ellie, you know we can’t drink.”

  “I meant Cokes.” She shrugs her shoulders up to her strawberry blond bob. “All you need is something to hold while you talk to people, something to sip on if you need a moment to think of what to say or just need a sweet distraction from the social anxiety.”

  “I thought you were my sweet distraction from the social ­anxiety?”

  “Awwww, love ya, girl.” She scrunches up her freckled nose. “But no, you need a drink in your hand.” She leads me by the elbow up to the bar, where she wriggles us through the crowd of Armani and Versace and assertively orders two Cokes with limes. She even winks at the bartender, who is tan and pretty handsome, but not my type. His hair is too perfectly groomed, gelled back off his forehead in a do so stiff it looks like it could be a helmet. Ew.

  We clink our glasses together and I have barely taken my first sip before we’re interrupted by a beautiful brunette with glitter eyelash extensions and matching acrylic nails. It’s Mooney Blue, pop star extraordinaire. I remember two years ago when her first single came out, “Love at First Listen”—and it had been love at first listen indeed.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” she says, not seeming that sorry, “but are you Harper Ambrose? You are, aren’t you?” Her voice is raspy and smooth at the same time. Effortless and breezy but with a mysterious hint of darkness.

  “Um, yeah.” I can feel my forehead sweating. “I mean yes. Hi.”

  “I’m Mooney!” She puts out her hand and I go to shake it, super self-conscious about how shaky my hand feels. “I just wanted to tell you how much I love your videos. Especially the one about what to wear on New Year’s! Look!” She steps back so I can see her outfit more clearly: a rose-gold sequined romper with blue leather booties and the same blue glitter tights that I’m wearing.

  “Oh my god.” I smile, trying not to let on how nervous I am. “You took my advice!”

  “I even had my makeup person watch the video so she could know the look I wanted to go with! Honestly, I think you’re awesome. It was great meeting you!” She squeezes my hand goodbye and saunters theatrically off into the throng of partygoers.

  “That was pretty cool,” Ellie says casually while I stare, dumbfounded, at the spot where Mooney was just standing. “Aren’t you glad you started making YouTube videos?”

  “Yes. Oh my god, Ellie, did I come off as a total space cadet? What’s wrong with me?”

  “Nothing! You’re perfect. You’re just a little shy. You can work on it, but in the meantime I think it’s endearing.”

  “That’s why you’re my best—”

  That’s when I turn and see the single most gorgeous guy who has ever existed on planet earth. My heart practically pops from my chest cartoon-style. His eyes are bright green and glowing from across the room; his light brown hair is messy and casually swooped to one side; his jaw is so perfect it had to be sculpted by Michelangelo himself; his white-collared shirt is unbuttoned at the neck; and my god, I even love his collarbones. I’m so in awe of this creature that my brain takes a moment to catch up with my eyes before I realize that this isn’t just any hot guy, but Dalton James, the British film and TV actor. But mostly film. And sometimes stage
. When I was nine, I saw him in a Broadway production of Oliver Twist, in which he was riveting and adorable, even back then. Of course he’s most famous for the Sacred trilogy (ghosts, goblins; a supernatural battle between good and evil; romance naturally ensues . . .), which is what ultimately catapulted him to international stardom. Entranced, I watch him high-five a buddy I don’t recognize, then laugh at something I can’t hear. The whole thing happens practically in slow motion, at least to my lovesick eyes.

  “Helloooo? Harper? Harper Jessica Ambrose! I’m your best . . . your best what?” I feel Ellie’s acrylic nail extensions pinch my arm and am snapped aggressively back to reality.

  “What happened?” I stammer like a recovering coma victim. I might as well have added a Where am I?

  “You tell me! You completely checked out. I’ve been trying to get your attention for a good fifteen seconds. Almost had to throw my drink in your face.”

  I laugh. “Thank you for not doing that.”

  “You’re welcome. So what are you staring at?”